3 Questions I Ask When Getting Dressed

As we fight for change, we must still get dressed and if this little moment of the day can support your mental health or bring you a little bit of joy, I want that.

I want to take a moment to recognize the state of our country right now and the range of emotions we’re all feeling as we watch this horror unfold before our eyes. I was debating sharing something today, but I had a thought: even as we fight for change, we still have to get dressed every day, and if this little moment of the day can support your mental health or bring you a little bit of joy, I want that. So, I decided to share this piece. Read it now if it feels right, or save for later if that feels better. My hope is that you’ll find today’s insights supportive now and as you continue your food and body image healing journey.

Let’s take a step back in time. For two decades (more than that, honestly), I dressed in a way that I thought would make me more lovable, worthy, and attractive. In most cases, that meant wearing clothes that were form-fitting.

In my mid- to late-20’s, I also began (without realizing it) dressing to blend in. I had been criticized for who I am as a person (honest, unfiltered, authentically me) a lot in my 20’s, and even called a butterface in high school, by a boy no less (UGH).

Controlling my body size and blending in with simple clothes was my unconscious response to managing the shame and protecting myself from all of that.

As I started healing my relationship with food and my body, I found myself wanting to reclaim my style. Tight clothes no longer felt right once I learned why I was wearing them. I was also deeply uninspired by my closet. As I continued to embrace all of me, without apology, I wanted my clothes to represent that truest version of me.

My initial goal was to have a closet full of clothes I actually felt comfortable in, no matter how I was feeling about my body from day to day. What I ended up doing was redefining my style as a confident, adult woman, which, as a bonus, makes the process of getting dressed actually FUN.

Most days, I’m in sweats and a sweatshirt because I work from home. But when we go out and about on the weekends, or if I venture out during the week, I choose clothes based on three style pillars that matter most to me:

• Comfort

• The vibes

• ME (What I Like)

As I’m picking clothes with these three pillars in mind, I continually come back to a few simple and helpful questions. Diet culture beliefs run deep, and unlearning and relearning take time. These questions help me stay focused on what matters to me when getting dressed.

So, let’s jump in, shall we?

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