5 Body Image Perspective Shifts We All Need
Because a shift in perspective can unravel even the deepest diet culture beliefs.
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Body image healing isn’t about reciting affirmations until you like what you see in the mirror.
It’s about switching out the lens through which you see your body and the world. So many of us get stuck looking through the diet culture lens, which creates a critical, harsh, and controlling view.
These perspective shifters have helped me see that there is, in fact, another lens through which I can look. One that allows for compassion, kindness, and a view of myself that’s not focused on how my body looks.
Today I want to share some of the ideas and insights that have helped me shift my perspective as I learn to be at peace with my body. My hope is that you’ll find some, or all, of them as powerful as I did.
After more than a decade of letting diet culture boss me around, I know with certainty that there is another way, and I hope you can see that too.
You Are More Than a Body
This idea was one of the first big ah-ha moments I had on my body image healing journey. Body positivity was the pathway out of diet culture for me, as it was for many of us. Then I came across this idea from the book, More Than a Body: Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament, written by twin sisters and body image researchers, Dr. Lexie Kite and Dr. Lindsay Kite.
I had one of those mind-explosion emoji moments as the Kite sisters explained that so much of the body positive movement is still about the body. Yes, it’s about liking your body, but the foundation is still on how your body looks, rather than simply loving or being at peace with your body simply because it is a functioning body.
A mantra that I held onto for dear life at the start of my healing journey came directly from that book title: “my body is an instrument, not an ornament.” This focus on function, not aesthetics, was truly groundbreaking for me.
Gratitude in Hard Moments
A month or so ago, when I was going through a resurgence in body image anxiety, I found myself spiraling. I was in the car and couldn’t stop thinking about my body and the parts of it that I find myself getting caught up in.
I couldn’t get off this hamster wheel, my mind turning the same critical and fearful thoughts over and over; just stuck in it.
Alongside that, the healed parts of myself were asking: What do I need to hear? What do I need to tell myself? What part of me is asking to be seen?
The idea of gratitude flashed through my mind, and the perspective shifter landed. Gratitude is perhaps the greatest tool for shifting your perspective because in most dark or hard moments, there are still things to be grateful for, and if we can allow both to be true, magic happens.
I love how The American Brain Foundation explains the benefit of gratitude: “Gratitude is a feeling, but it’s also the deliberate act of acknowledging an external source for something you value.”
In those moments of body dissatisfaction or anxiety, gratitude helps you acknowledge the things that you value outside of or unrelated to your body.
In these moments, I start making a list in my head, starting with the first thing that pops up. In that particular moment in the car, it went something like this…
I’m grateful for the trees that are full because it’s summer.
I’m grateful that I have a comfortable and working car to drive.
I’m grateful for my supportive husband.
I’m grateful for the deep and unconditional love from my son.
I’m grateful for the food I ate this morning.
And when I do this, I feel immediate relief.
I automatically start zooming out from that hyperfixation.
I start breathing deeper.
My body uncoils.
I start to smile as I think about all the incredible things I have in my life.
And just like that, the intensity of the moment fizzles. Does the anxiety completely disappear? No. Is that a replacement for working through that anxiety with a mental health professional? Definitely not.
But gratitude is a tool that’s accessible in hard moments, no matter where you are or what you’re doing. Use it to deescalate the situation and then come back to that anxiety when it’s safe and you have the support to explore it.
Why Them and Not Me?
Do you ever find yourself thinking things like, she looks cute in that, but I could never? I talked about this recently on Instagram. Many of us can extend love, grace, and even joy and support for other people when it comes to body shape or size, but not for ourselves.
While there are many reasons for this (stay tuned for a future article on this), one of the most common is that we often see others as whole people. We don’t zoom in on various body parts the way we do ourselves.
So much so that you likely don’t even notice what someone else might consider their biggest “flaws” or the parts of themselves that they’re hyperfixated on.
If you find yourself being self-critical, use this idea as a way to shift your perspective. If your body or this outfit was on someone else, how would you think about that person? What would you say? How would you support them? Then do that for yourself.
It’s Not Me, it’s Diet Culture
Diet culture has been drilled into us for so long, from so many outlets, that we begin to think those beliefs are our own. You weren’t born with the desire to be in a smaller body or “eat healthy”—you were told you should want and do those things over and over and over again. (And that if you don’t, you won’t be loved or worthy. More on that in a minute.)
A big part of my healing journey has been untangling myself from those thoughts and beliefs. Seeing myself as separate from them—because I am. Those thoughts are not mine. Those desires are not mine. As I started to recognize this, my perspective shifted massively.
Now, if I find myself thinking about certain body parts not being “good enough,” I say to myself, “That’s not me, that’s diet culture,” and there’s a wave of relief in that. When I can pull myself away from the thought and see that it’s not what I actually think, I can move on before getting stuck in a spiral moment.
Body Diversity is Real
I don’t know if this feels obvious to you, but to me, it was a huge perspective-shifter. I can’t remember what I read or saw that sparked the idea, but this initial thought occurred to me a few years ago:
We all have different colored eyes, different hair, different-sized hands and feet and legs and heads. Why can we accept body diversity in those ways but not when it comes to the size, shape, and color of our bodies?
We’re not meant to look alike. We weren’t born looking the same, yet diet culture tells us the opposite. Worse, it tells us if we don’t match that Eurocentric body type, we won’t be successful, lovable, or worthy of respect.
If you find yourself getting caught up in a challenging body image moment, use this reminder to shift your perspective. You’re not supposed to look like everyone else!
Bonus: The Elements of Mindful Self-Compassion
This is one of the earliest tools I learned on my healing journey. I discovered this back in 2018, well before I had the words or knowledge to understand why I was struggling.
What I love is that the creators of Mindful Self-Compassion, Kristin Neff, PhD and Christopher K. Germer, PhD, give us three tangible steps (core elements) to get to that place of kindness. Those steps, not just the self-compassion on the other side, were big perspective shifters for me.
If this is entirely new to you, here are the three core elements and how I’ve come to understand them:
Mindfulness: Notice your difficult emotions or pain without judgment. Name them simply, without judgment or meaning.
Common Humanity: Recognize that what you’re feeling is a normal part of the shared human experience. You’re not the only person feeling this way.
Self-Kindness: Respond to your own challenging moment or feelings with the warmth and soothing you’d give to someone else feeling this way. You might even imagine the voice of someone you love speaking to you, or see yourself responding to someone you love.
The way I learned mindful self-compassion was to do each one of these as a step, in order, in that challenging moment. With each step, you feel that anxiety ratchet down and the self-compassion land gently.
Shift Your Perspective, Change the Game
Healing takes an ongoing journey, and these perspective shifters can help you get closer to that place of peace and stay there, even as old thoughts or beliefs resurface.
The more you use these perspective shifts to reinforce new ideas and beliefs, the more you rewire your brain. Over time, those old thoughts become less automatic, and therefore, less frequent.
Tell me in the comments: Do any of these resonate for you? Or is there something that changed your perspective in a powerful way that you want to share?